• 5:11 AM, Sunday, January 25, 2009
why am i the one who is stuck in the middle?!i m starting to hate CNY. ):
maybe the only thing i will like it is only the red packets.
i hate where m i born in.
why when people are enjoying, i cant.
why when people are smiling truthfully, i cant.
why when people are having precious happy time with their family, i cant.
i dun understand how we are able to live here and no one complains.
i shouldnt thank God about it. because if i thank Him, it means that i m satisfied with what he has given. I am satisfied that He has given me a happy family, but I am not satisfied with what we are going through.
everyone wants a happy family. so do i.
i long for one. i use to say next time if i have my own family, i wouldnt want it to be a broken one. but i think i should rephrase it.
i want a happy family now and a happy family in the future.
i prayed for many many many years. and some times i m so tired. that i forgot about praying for a better family. some times i feel that my prayer is answered when i start to sing and talk to Him.
i really pray that He will calm him and make him wake up to reality.
i know that he had suffer from a bad childhood. that's why he is like that. but i hope he can realise that everyone around him cares. but is frighten away from him when he behaves threatening. )': we really cares. but what can we do. ):
i m quite sick and tired of all these that are happening. when will he wake up? is death really goin to solve all the problems? does parting the earthly life change whatever that is happening? ): i m confused. and i got no one to talk to. that's why i type it out. to make me feel better. i can only cry when no one notices. cos i should appear strong. that's what everyone thinks i am. a strong and bright person who can "revive" him. but that is not the fact. i am super fragile. super weak. i cannot accept, but this is where i am born to. ):
